'In someones shoes'

hmmz..bleh....wats on my mind well..alot i guess..

You eva imagine life in someone elses shoes???

So many of u probably have had the question, thats crossed ur mine in some place...wheneva it was probably got u thinkin...some more than most,

For most of my life, the thought of living in someone elses shoes, always attracted me to think bout it more than most..like if u eva imagine ur self in someones shoes how u cope? Alot ppl say their own way...and yea sorta wish..

Wat if...that thought was something that plays in ur mind all day..well yea for me its happened alot of times..Y u mite think...? well all comes back...wat if u were in my shoes?..

For most of u out there, u wouldnt want to be in my shoes...trust my mind will fuck u up...so yea sorry for bein literal for a couple of secs but yea. The past yr has been real weird for me, its been a whole ride of emotions for me...and ive had my share of downs this yrs, more than eva..

If u think about all the successful ppl in the world...think about for a second, they all had 2 sacrifice something for the sack of their one desire..imagine Michael Jordan without playing hard to imagine dont it...i reckon there were times where he looked out at the crowd and saw a couple of kids or a group of friends just hanging out on a sunday afternoon, without having to worri bout a thing on the monday...mj, tiger woods, lincoln, shakespeare, da vinci, bill gates...ppl who have made a name for themselves in the world and hav all the success. The reason they were gud at something and stuck to it..the weird thing is as u can c both sides of the coin...we the fans always admired these ppl wondering how life would be and how amazing it is..

while on their side, some of the ppl on the successful sorta wished they had a piece of our own world..the freedom of doing anything u want, not kept in by expectations and rules and regulations. i guess with success comes sacrifice i guess...

Probably reading through this entry its sounds sorta depressing on my part, well...i imagine this:

imagine thoughtout ur whole life u've been brought up to do the write, ur the person who the whole family looks up 2, u've jus come out of stuggles many kids would just break down and yet u get through..

The idea that u, cant...tell anyone how u feel? because u are ashamed of urself, and the life u lead would be implicated when u told...the feeling that when u tell someone ur secrets, that u hope for that person to be there for u..or look up to u...and finding out that it doesnt mean anything..

imagine that ur own interpretations are the things keeping u away from everyone, wat if...u were in the situation where, u think u pass through the storm, when in fact u've only in the eye of the storm and still have the other side to get through which looks more worse for wear.

Wat if u've come to the point were, ur parents have turned into someone that they would want, but not wat u want...and that this thought u try to express it no matter how u do...ends up with someone not giving a damn, or someone not understanding...all they can do is just support u...

Wat if the family ur in depends on u...the last resort..to save them...the burden of the prodigal son on ur shoulders...wat if u see both ur parents struggling...and look to u for advice when its realli u that needs it...but u hav to keep ur own and hide the pain so they wont lose hope...wat if ur brother or sister, depends on u and wants ur support to be there...even though it doesnt seem like it..

Wat if u were in the situation, that through ur life u've been brought up being a gud person..well in fact..the rest of the world is taking the 'gud with the bad' idea...and ur life seems like its in slow motion and u seem like ur missing out..

Wat if...Wat if u were in my shoes for a day..how would u cope?

Theres alot of 'Wat ifs..?' isnt there...well if u noe who dis is...then message me ask...

My life is a ride no doubt and im riding on, and holding on...with the hope that it will be better..

The quote from a song that i listen to alot sorta somes up my situation, i guess alot ppl wish they can sum up their lives in one quote..i guess ppl r still finding theres:

'Hoping for the best but expecting the worst...'

I guess in life we all have our hopes and dreams in front of us, but at the same token the fears and doubts are there as well, the balance of the two....sorta brings us to the point of normality, for most ppl my age...me writing like i am seems to 'old' for most, i was one of the few who had to GROW UP early and its still hurts me, cause in my life ive had my share of bad experiences...most of my friends keep saying i should 'get over it' and move and try to scrape the little motivation left in me to gain some life back in me..but its not so easy as it seems...thats the thing wat if u were in my shoes...its the hardest thing for me to get over the point that not many will get to understand...but i keep in my heart that they want the best for me..and dont want to see me down and out..cause to the ppl that dont noe to some degree...im more an inspiration to them than i thought i am...

To finish, advice to all ppl out there reading this entry, be a friend, for someone...even if they dont understand u...even if all u can do is jus say... 'It'll be ok'

U realli honestly dont know how a little bit of support may mean to someone, it could me the whole world 2 someone and u many not noe urself when it matters..the feeling u get when u do help someone...will stay wit for a long tym even if u may forget...

'Beware the wounded soldier...'

Call me paranoid or wateva..im jus writing wat i think...weird dont isnt it..were human...but we are so much more than that..


Peace Outs