lolz i guess thats my meandering mind going on....
But yea being all serz again...u eva hav the feeling of drifting apart from ppl...yea most ppl would hav experienced the feeling of drifting apart from some one...well anyone for that matter..most ppl would hav it blow over..
But wat if u were one person who lost everyone...wat if everyone left u behind..wat if everytime u tried to be a friend to someone..it becomes this unappreciated help...when al u say to urself.."well...thnxs..glad i could help"...to urself..u felt like each person u talk to u felt like u found a friend...then all of a sudden they seem to disappear from u.. and like no matter how hard u try...it all ends in vain..well that was high skool 2 sum extent for me..Yea i noe ppl from my high skool said they were my mate..but yea it was hard for me jus to let go
I guess the only witness to my life..GOD has always been there...yea im all grown up but the feeling of needing someone is all there even if most ppl in today's society think of this idea as 'childish'. But think about it...even has to act some way..or be like this...or do this..or do that cause its 'kool'...its the 'in style' kinda frame of mine..wat happened to wat 'i want' and if they like then so yea...independence...have ppl lost the way to be independent..cause for me i think with all my tryin to hav friends like most of u ppl got...im starting to think..like i wasnt to hav anyone by my side...maybe i was supposed to travel this life on my own...and let ppl come to me...rather than me....
Cause in the end...we r own worst enemy, our greatest judge, r most trusted person is oursleves...is the age of bein there for each other still stands..after hearing a 60 yr old saying that the Western World losing its compassion is sad to hear...cause i feel like i can change that..to wat extent i dunno yet..if im able to touch someone anyone for that matter..and was able to be thanked for that..i'd die a happi man....
Alot of my entires r sad..and u noe y...no one realli wants noe me...like realli...most ppl are like surprised, conscpicous, misjudge me...and like think that im in over my head..or im just too serz..wat if im not...wat if...i wasnt...all these quandries and shit...in my head ill neva be able to turn off i reckon...
My head neva stops, neva stops calculating...neva stops tryin to figure out ppl...i cant help but watch and then write how i feel when i write these blogs..feeling that im the worser person and neva thought for one day i could be happi like so many others...
I dunno..more and more rantings....man...but it doesnt change the fact that i hav to do things on my own, and i gotta move on through life without fear...i guess a quote from Lao Tzu somes it up;
"Mastering strength is one, mastering other is another, but if u master urself, u r fearless"
So the idea of 'mastering ourselves is the challenge' and its tru are we that perfect no..r we there for each other, for sure that is..but it may not be all the time...I cant stress enough the point that...i gotta be there for ppl..friends and strangers for that matter at times....like be unselfish for one second it could mean the world for someone...cause there are alot of lonely souls out there..waiting for someone to notice..myself included...
I guess i hav to be patient...and like yea if ppl do just leave me after i help without looking for reward..i noe for most its u think its like 'so unfair', or 'so stupid'of me to write an entry like this..and if anyone reads this..plz comment..but yea thats sounds to desperate..but yea i leave it up 2 u all..if there is hope left in the western world..plz PROVE ME WRONG..
I end wit a quote from a Ying Yang Twins song:
"From the time they are cut from ther umbilical cord, no one enforces there life to be hard.."
Who do we leave it up 2 in the end....?
Well ttylz tc gb
Peace Outz
1 comment:
your blog is so true! it's so depressing when people droft apart.. I'm afraid of that happening.. it's inevitable & I realise its slowly already happening . it's hard, buh u jus have to deal i guess. I wouldn't call this blog sad. I'd call it realistic.. although some people choose not to face the truth . i hope I'm not one of those frens hu jus leave you & anyone els for that matter behind. tc
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